


Year of Silence

by highboys (orphan_account)



Category: Danball Senki
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Phone Calls & Telephones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-08 16:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/highboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>("I just got off while on the phone with Jin," says Ban, hysterical. "Is that normal?"</p><p>"Oh my god," says Kazu, later. "<i>Please</i> kill me now.")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Year of Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nigiyakapepper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nigiyakapepper/gifts).



The earth revolves around the sun once every three hundred sixty-five days and a quarter of a day. That is three hundred sixty-five days and a quarter of a day of rotating around its axis. Three hundred sixty-five and a quarter.

Ban has practiced waiting for his entire life-- in the shadow of an absent father, in the tight smile of a mother fraught with worry and good intentions. Patience is a given. Sentiment, another. Loss is permanent; regret, he contends with everyday.

It is Jin who he holds onto, as he scrabbles up the makeshift ladder. Jin, who catches him by the shoulders and seems a little at a loss with what to do, a little too awkward, a little too cold. But his voice, when he speaks to Ban, is soft, and soothing.

"You're okay," says Jin, rubbing his back. "You're okay."

 

 

He's not okay. Not really.

"Not cool, bro," says Kazu. "You're acting like a lovesick girlfriend. What are you, twelve?"

" _Kazu_ ," says Ami, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What?" Kazu scoffs, going back to checking his phone. "Don't think we didn't see you guys having a moment there."

Ban raises his head from the desk, momentarily pausing in his wallowing. "What moment?"

Kazu gives him a _look_ , like he doesn't know if Ban is a defective LBX or if he's just like that by nature. "Uh, that moment you two were getting your heterosexual life partners thing on?" He nudges Ami. "Right?"

"There was no moment," says Ban, miserably. "And if we were, he would have at least told me he was going away."

"He kinda did," says Ami, looking vaguely guilty. "And there really was a moment."

"He told Takuya-san first," says Ban, whimpering.

"Oh my god," says Kazu. "What did I say again?"

 

 

The thing is, Ban can be forgiving. He can also take things at face value and cope. ("Fucking Messianic complex," says Kazu – his vocabulary is getting a little too colorful these days) But when he thinks of Jin, all he wants to do is hide inside his room and huddle under piles of blankets and think of how _Jin was here, once_ , like that's the only thing that matters, the only thing he cares about.

Jin is not a social animal by nature, and Ban thinks that perhaps, he is Jin's first proper friend, and yet…

He could have at least given a proper goodbye.

"Stupid Jin," Ban moans, into his pillow. "Stupid, _stupid_ Jin."

He says as much to Jin, when he calls him at – is this serious – three in the morning.

"Sorry," says Jin, in that quiet voice of his, only he sounds a little like he's laughing. It's a wonder Ban can tell.

" _Time zones_ ," says Ban, logging onto the default search engine. "There's such a thing as that."

"I forgot," says Jin. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all."

"I'd be more than okay if you waited for four more hours?" Ban says, squinting at his computer screen.

Jin laughs – throaty, like he means it. Ban's fingers still on his mouse. He bites his lip.

"Talk to me," says Ban.

"Hmm," says Jin. "What about?"

He fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "Tell me everything."

Jin does.

 

 

And more. And more. And more.

Ban stares at his palm, at his softening cock. Hears the dial tone on the other end of the line, haunting, taunting.

It's easy, so easy. There's only a small price to pay, for shame.

The rest -- it's nothing. Nothing.

 

 

("I just got off while on the phone with Jin," says Ban, hysterical. "Is that normal?"

"Oh my god," says Kazu, later. " _Please_ kill me now.")

 

 

Jin on the phone is like this fragmented, disembodied being. Ban can only stare at the opposite wall and try to remember the shade of his hair, his eyes. How he looked, when Ban offered him a part of his heart. The reality -- disillusionment, and all Ban can think of is – is –

Static. Delay; delay. The loss of seconds spent in counting the length of pauses for breath, in committing to memory the lower octave of his voice. Imagine the slight quirk of his mouth. Memorize it. Remember. Compare.

Like all memories, Ban wonders if it's real, if he can still believe in it.

 

 

"Miss you," he mouths even as the dial tone comes to a stop. T minus three hundred sixty five days and a quarter. Distances, time zones; all he can think of is, is it worth it?

He sets down the phone, and waits.

 


End file.
